The new Casting Crowns is stepping all over my toes. The title of this post comes from the song "Stained Glass Masquerade". It is good stuff. I was reading in Velvet Elvis last night (yes Herschel, I am reading quickly) about Lazaras being dead. When Jesus called him from the tomb, Martha said, "But Lord, he stinkith." Rob Bell says that he relates that to his sin. He talks about where is he "dead". What kind of masquerade am I living? I hide my sin in the tomb of my own stupidity and it stinks. Jesus calls me on it - and then I shove it back in the tomb and pretend that it doesn't stink. But it reeks - the stinch is revolting. Why is it so appealing? Why do I not run in the other direction? What if we were all real with each other - what if we all took off the masks? Somehow the church has lost it's effectiveness or the altar would be packed every Sunday. The chorus of the song goes like this, and I think it is an accurate picture of the church today:
Are we happy plastic people/Under shiny plastic steeples/With walls around our weakness/And smiles to hide the pain/But if the invitation's open/To every heart that has been broken/Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade.
Lord, thanks for reminding me of the need to be real. By covering up my sin, I fail to find freedom from it. Take these desires from me and replace them with a desire to please you. Help me to resist the desire to judge others and replace that desire with a love for them. Words are not enough without the action of love. Thank you Jesus for loving me where I am at, while giving me reminders that it isn't where you desire me to be.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Join Me Please Friends
Dear Friends,
Would you please join me on a mission? I watch LOST. I don't watch much TV at all - but I watch LOST. The writing in amazing - and I can't stop watching LOST. I subscribe to TV Guide - not so I know what's on TV - I only watch about three shows and I know when they are on. I subscribe so I can read about shows like LOST. TV Guide has a DVD attached to it this week. It is behind the scenes footage, a preview of Season 2, audio commentary by writers, directors, and actors. However, the DVD is only attached to the TV Guides sold in stores, not the ones sent to SUBSCRIBERS! Does this make sense to anyone? Join me friends in boycotting TV guide - next time you are at the store - take all the subscription cards out of the TV guides in the magazine rack. We wouldn't want anyone else to suffer in this way. We must save others from the atrocity! At the end of one year, I will drive all of the cards we collect to TV Guide headquarters. I am sure they will trade them for a copy of the DVD. I will not bend to their scam and purchase a newsstand copy - really I won't - ok ok so I might - but I am not driving to town just for that - I promise.
Would you please join me on a mission? I watch LOST. I don't watch much TV at all - but I watch LOST. The writing in amazing - and I can't stop watching LOST. I subscribe to TV Guide - not so I know what's on TV - I only watch about three shows and I know when they are on. I subscribe so I can read about shows like LOST. TV Guide has a DVD attached to it this week. It is behind the scenes footage, a preview of Season 2, audio commentary by writers, directors, and actors. However, the DVD is only attached to the TV Guides sold in stores, not the ones sent to SUBSCRIBERS! Does this make sense to anyone? Join me friends in boycotting TV guide - next time you are at the store - take all the subscription cards out of the TV guides in the magazine rack. We wouldn't want anyone else to suffer in this way. We must save others from the atrocity! At the end of one year, I will drive all of the cards we collect to TV Guide headquarters. I am sure they will trade them for a copy of the DVD. I will not bend to their scam and purchase a newsstand copy - really I won't - ok ok so I might - but I am not driving to town just for that - I promise.
Oh Dear Readers
Sorry friends - not much time to blog this week. Yesterday I didn't even have time to pee until 8:30 last night! That tells you how busy my life has been - grrr! But I am on the road to organization and things will be better soon. I only had one breakdown moment this week and that resulted in crying myself to sleep. I just got a little bogged down trying to take care of scheduling umpires and bus drivers and take care of all of the regular stuff at the beginning of the school year. Thankfully the Lord didn't allow me to wallow in my self-pity for very long. He reminded me of what a blessing I have to work with wonderful people at a job I love! I have the most amazing group of kids this year! I adore them already and we have only had 1 full day. The only sad moment Friday was when one of them asked how old I was. One kid (who will regret the comment when he sees his report card) said I think you look 40. However, my A+ student said she's only 23! I LOVE THAT KID! In response to my Velvet Elvis post - not much time to read this week but I will be updating about that as soon as I can get my attention back to it.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Velvet Elvis
Is anyone else reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell? He's the Nooma video guy - pastor at Mars Hill. It's incredible so far. Tonight I was reading and I thought to myself about one of the paragraphs "Wow, there is such freedom in that." Well, I went on to read the next paragraph and it was all about how there is such freedom in what it was talking about. It's good stuff so far - making me think a little outside of my comfort zone. It's quite real - you should read it.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Beware BKK Bocce Ball Players
I thought it would only be fair to warn you all. I am now an official owner of my very own Bocce Ball Set. It was on clearance at Wal-Mart for $11.00. I am going to be working on my overhand throw. I would be afraid - very very afraid! That Huebner kid and Cody Attebery will have nothing on me after I practice for 11 1/2 months!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
The Professor and Mary Anne
I read this quote in a magazine article and it got me to thinkin - maybe it will do the same for you.
"A friend said mournfully the other day that he'd lived his life like the professor on Gilligan's Island. While he found time to fashion generators out of palm fronds, vaccines out of algae, he never got down to fixing that huge hole in the boat so he could go home."
Wow - I think this might be a part of the composition of the church today. Busy-ness rules the world. We are busy raising money for this, building this, having a meeting about this, having a conference about how we can better do this or that - and not that those are bad things, but all the while, there is a hole in the boat and we aren't addressing it. I think there are two holes in the boat - one is our complacency with our sin and two our complacency with a dying world outside our door. Just what I am thinking about today.
"A friend said mournfully the other day that he'd lived his life like the professor on Gilligan's Island. While he found time to fashion generators out of palm fronds, vaccines out of algae, he never got down to fixing that huge hole in the boat so he could go home."
Wow - I think this might be a part of the composition of the church today. Busy-ness rules the world. We are busy raising money for this, building this, having a meeting about this, having a conference about how we can better do this or that - and not that those are bad things, but all the while, there is a hole in the boat and we aren't addressing it. I think there are two holes in the boat - one is our complacency with our sin and two our complacency with a dying world outside our door. Just what I am thinking about today.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Stifled
Dear Readers:
It is with sadness that I must report that this is the best I can do for a post today. My good friend, one Herschel French, has stifled my creative juices. He chastised me for posting three times yesterday. Now, it is 11:42 pm and I have not posted. I am afraid of posting. What if I have something better to say later? What if another thought comes to mind? What if something interesting happens in my life that I want to tell the world about? SIGH
It is with sadness that I must report that this is the best I can do for a post today. My good friend, one Herschel French, has stifled my creative juices. He chastised me for posting three times yesterday. Now, it is 11:42 pm and I have not posted. I am afraid of posting. What if I have something better to say later? What if another thought comes to mind? What if something interesting happens in my life that I want to tell the world about? SIGH
Monday, August 08, 2005
Return to Earth
Here's a fun fact kids.
27% of Americans believe we never landed on the moon.
Interesting eh?
Anyway, here's hoping my former commrads land safely in the morning. I doubt I am awake yet to see it since it will be around 4am. I pray I awake to good news! Fly like an eagle.
27% of Americans believe we never landed on the moon.
Interesting eh?
Anyway, here's hoping my former commrads land safely in the morning. I doubt I am awake yet to see it since it will be around 4am. I pray I awake to good news! Fly like an eagle.
Hemmed In
Psalm 139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;it is high; I cannot attain it.
Lately, I have been listening to a lot of my old CDs. Most of the new stuff I have bought in the past year gets a few listens and then stuck back in the case. This could be why I seldom buy CDs anymore. I am convinced it is getting easier to get a recording contract, although I am sure there are plenty of starving artists out there who would greatly disagree with me. It just seems like there is a lot of mediocre music out there. Anyway - back to the topic at hand. I know there is a whole lot of controversy surrounding Amy Grant. If I was famous and my sins were exposed there would be a lot of controversy about me too, so who am I to judge. Again - back to the topic at hand. (It's becoming apparent that I am ADD isn't it?) So, I was listening to Lead Me On. Here are the lyrics:
Amy Grant - Lead Me On
Shoulder to the wheel
For someone else's selfish gain
Here there is no choosing
Working the clay
Wearing their anger like a ball and chain.
Fire in the field
Underneath a blazing sun
But soon the sun was faded
And freedom was a song
I heard them singing when the day was done
Singing to the holy one.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Waiting for the train
Labeled with a golden star
Heavy hearted boarding
Whispers in the dark
"where are we going--is it very far? "
Bitter cold terrain
Echoes of a slamming door
In chambers made for sleeping, forever
Voices like thunder in a mighty roar
Cry to the lord.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Man hurts man
Time and time, time again
And we drown in the wake of our power
Somebody tell me why.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to this song and just started weeping. I have heard this song a million and four times. It came out in 1988. It was probably the best selling Christian album that year. So yeah, it got a few listens. Anyway, I heard the song in such a new way. I so need deliverance from my sin. As mentioned in yesterday's post, I am just sick of it. This song talks both about slavery and about being in bondage. Can you imagine a slave reaching the end of the Underground Railroad, only to turn back around and run right back to the slave master? Ludicrous I say. Can you imagine the survivors of the Holocaust being set free from the concentration camps at the end of the war, only to run back into the gas chamber? How foolish! Yet, again and again I return to sin. Beyond stupidity. Psalm 139 has become such a prayer. The whole passage is an awesome exploration of just how much God loves us. I particularly love the portion above. I love the part about being hemmed in behind and before. If you think about the hem of your jeans, its purpose is to keep the fabric from unraveling. God's grace and forgiveness is the same - without him, I would unravel. Thanks be to God for protecting me from my own undoing.
Lately, I have been listening to a lot of my old CDs. Most of the new stuff I have bought in the past year gets a few listens and then stuck back in the case. This could be why I seldom buy CDs anymore. I am convinced it is getting easier to get a recording contract, although I am sure there are plenty of starving artists out there who would greatly disagree with me. It just seems like there is a lot of mediocre music out there. Anyway - back to the topic at hand. I know there is a whole lot of controversy surrounding Amy Grant. If I was famous and my sins were exposed there would be a lot of controversy about me too, so who am I to judge. Again - back to the topic at hand. (It's becoming apparent that I am ADD isn't it?) So, I was listening to Lead Me On. Here are the lyrics:
Amy Grant - Lead Me On
Shoulder to the wheel
For someone else's selfish gain
Here there is no choosing
Working the clay
Wearing their anger like a ball and chain.
Fire in the field
Underneath a blazing sun
But soon the sun was faded
And freedom was a song
I heard them singing when the day was done
Singing to the holy one.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Waiting for the train
Labeled with a golden star
Heavy hearted boarding
Whispers in the dark
"where are we going--is it very far? "
Bitter cold terrain
Echoes of a slamming door
In chambers made for sleeping, forever
Voices like thunder in a mighty roar
Cry to the lord.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Man hurts man
Time and time, time again
And we drown in the wake of our power
Somebody tell me why.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.
Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to this song and just started weeping. I have heard this song a million and four times. It came out in 1988. It was probably the best selling Christian album that year. So yeah, it got a few listens. Anyway, I heard the song in such a new way. I so need deliverance from my sin. As mentioned in yesterday's post, I am just sick of it. This song talks both about slavery and about being in bondage. Can you imagine a slave reaching the end of the Underground Railroad, only to turn back around and run right back to the slave master? Ludicrous I say. Can you imagine the survivors of the Holocaust being set free from the concentration camps at the end of the war, only to run back into the gas chamber? How foolish! Yet, again and again I return to sin. Beyond stupidity. Psalm 139 has become such a prayer. The whole passage is an awesome exploration of just how much God loves us. I particularly love the portion above. I love the part about being hemmed in behind and before. If you think about the hem of your jeans, its purpose is to keep the fabric from unraveling. God's grace and forgiveness is the same - without him, I would unravel. Thanks be to God for protecting me from my own undoing.
Froogle Wish List
Woke up a bit quirky this morning. Decided to look at all that my blog world has to offer. Checked out the Froogle wish list. Decided on those days when I can't decide what to blog about that I will just pick out three items that I am recommending. This morning's three choices can be viewed here: http://froogle.google.com/shoppinglist?a=SWL&id=de461dc1ad7efee64951fb44f830eecb38ba65f8
They include:
1.) A Chef's Hat that you can get matching pants for. I have become a watcher of "Hell's Kitchen" this summer. I want to be a chef. The astronaunt thing didn't pan out so I am now thinking chef. I am not so great at cooking. My mom, grandma and sister are great cooks. When I cook it is either great or frightening. There are no in betweens with me. It's all or nothing baby. I think with the hat and perhaps the matching pants, my cooking abilities will improve ten-fold! I can't wait!
2.) A Parka - who doesn't need a good parka. With as little rain as we have had this summer I am expecting that we will be in for a monsoon this fall. I am going to be prepared.
3.) A Larry Bird Jersey - I don't know Larry Bird - I have never watched the Celtics play - I don't really like professional basketball particularly. So why the jersey? Because I once knew Larry's little brother Curly Bird (no kidding that was what he went by). He was in my psychology class in college. I hated that class - but I think Curly was a nice kid.
They include:
1.) A Chef's Hat that you can get matching pants for. I have become a watcher of "Hell's Kitchen" this summer. I want to be a chef. The astronaunt thing didn't pan out so I am now thinking chef. I am not so great at cooking. My mom, grandma and sister are great cooks. When I cook it is either great or frightening. There are no in betweens with me. It's all or nothing baby. I think with the hat and perhaps the matching pants, my cooking abilities will improve ten-fold! I can't wait!
2.) A Parka - who doesn't need a good parka. With as little rain as we have had this summer I am expecting that we will be in for a monsoon this fall. I am going to be prepared.
3.) A Larry Bird Jersey - I don't know Larry Bird - I have never watched the Celtics play - I don't really like professional basketball particularly. So why the jersey? Because I once knew Larry's little brother Curly Bird (no kidding that was what he went by). He was in my psychology class in college. I hated that class - but I think Curly was a nice kid.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Summer
Wow - God has been so amazing this summer - not that God isn't amazing all of the time - He definetly is. This summer has flown by. I love summer but I am ready to go back to school - I love my job and can't wait to get back at it. But before I return tomorrow I just wanted to reflect a bit about the past few weeks. God has been incredibly good to me. I give so little time to him - I do things for Him - but the actual sitting down and spending time with Him part??? - it lacks. And perhaps that is what has caused the smell of my life. Yes, smell. I did a devotion last week for staff day of camp. It was based on the following song called Monkeys at the Zoo by Charlie Peacock:
Will it be different now or the same? Will I have learned anything?
Or was it just a way to spend a day or two
Set aside for thinking thoughts about You? If that's all it was I had a good time
Refrain: But that won't be enough for me, not this year not anytime soon
I have got to clean house, gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
It's getting kind of stuffy in here, smells sorta funky too
Like monkeys at the zoo
I have been a whoring after things cause I wanna feel safe inside
That's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold or silver Will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out, Spirit come flush the lies out
Will it be different now or the same? Have I changed at all?
And if you were to dive deep inside my soul would you find Jesus there? Or a gaping hole?Should I be content with my beautiful Christian life?
REFRAIN I have been a whoring after things cause I wanna get everything right
That's a big fat lie No amount of green, gold or silver, the perfect body, another hot toddy Work for the Lord, fame & power, power and sex, A seat at a table at the Belle Meade Country Club Here's the rub: nothing will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out Spirit come flush the lies out Will it be different now or the same? Will I have learned anything?
That my friends, is the state of my life. But this summer is different. I have felt God in renewed and completely new ways. God has reminded me of just how much He loves me and just how much He desires to spend time with me. Also, God has made me sick of my sin this summer. I am worn out with it. I am tired of trying to dance with the devil standing on my feet. I'm not content anymore and it's a good thing. I want more of God. I want less of me.
Will it be different now or the same? Will I have learned anything?
Or was it just a way to spend a day or two
Set aside for thinking thoughts about You? If that's all it was I had a good time
Refrain: But that won't be enough for me, not this year not anytime soon
I have got to clean house, gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
It's getting kind of stuffy in here, smells sorta funky too
Like monkeys at the zoo
I have been a whoring after things cause I wanna feel safe inside
That's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold or silver Will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out, Spirit come flush the lies out
Will it be different now or the same? Have I changed at all?
And if you were to dive deep inside my soul would you find Jesus there? Or a gaping hole?Should I be content with my beautiful Christian life?
REFRAIN I have been a whoring after things cause I wanna get everything right
That's a big fat lie No amount of green, gold or silver, the perfect body, another hot toddy Work for the Lord, fame & power, power and sex, A seat at a table at the Belle Meade Country Club Here's the rub: nothing will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out Spirit come flush the lies out Will it be different now or the same? Will I have learned anything?
That my friends, is the state of my life. But this summer is different. I have felt God in renewed and completely new ways. God has reminded me of just how much He loves me and just how much He desires to spend time with me. Also, God has made me sick of my sin this summer. I am worn out with it. I am tired of trying to dance with the devil standing on my feet. I'm not content anymore and it's a good thing. I want more of God. I want less of me.
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